Taking Criticism · Online, in English

Is your first reaction to criticism to justify yourself?

It's not that you don't take responsibility — it's that you've trained a reflex to defend yourself before you even finish listening. A space to slow down that instant between the criticism and your answer, without translating your defense first.

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Systemic Approach

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A first session to talk through your situation and shape the process together. You decide with real information, not blindly.

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60 min · Video call

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When justifying becomes reflex

The excuse isn't a lie. It's a reflex that learned to answer before you think.

Someone points out something you did wrong — a partner, a boss, a friend — and before they've even finished, the explanation is already coming out of your mouth. You're not lying and you're not in denial: somewhere along the way, a mistake started to feel like a threat, and your system learned to answer with defense before it answers with thought. For a lot of people who move between Spanish and English every day, that reflex got extra practice — translating a boss's feedback in a second language while your body was already bracing to justify yourself, or growing up in a house where saying "I was wrong" out loud didn't feel safe, so the excuse became automatic before the words were ever really yours.

Therapy doesn't ask you to just "own your mistakes" — you already know you have them. It works on the exact instant between the criticism and your answer, so that instant becomes a real pause, and responsibility turns into something you choose instead of something you owe.

Ricardo De Castro King — Clinical Psychologist

Who's with you

I'm Ricardo, and you won't be alone in this

I'm a clinical psychologist with more than 15 years of clinical practice, trained in systemic family therapy. I'm Colombian, based in Barranquilla, and I see clients online. But before any title, I'm someone who understands what it's like to hold two languages and two worlds at once. Many of the people I work with in English think in Spanish first — they migrated, or grew up shuttling between countries, or had to become the adult of the family in a language nobody taught them for that job. You don't have to explain that part to me first.

A defensive reflex is easier to slow down with someone next to you. If this feels like the moment, let's take the first step together — at your pace, no pressure.

Master's in Systemic Family Therapy

Universidad Simón Bolívar

Clinical Psychologist

15+ years of clinical experience

University Professor

16 years of university teaching

Therapeutic Approach

Systemic-relational

Licensed Psychologist · Professional License 106127 (COLPSIC, Colombia)

Ricardo is licensed as a psychologist in Colombia (Professional License 106127) and works with international clients in private practice. He does not prescribe medication. Rules on cross-border online therapy vary by country and by state, so it's worth checking what applies where you live — and this never replaces local emergency care.

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My approach

This is how I work with this pattern in therapy

I work from a systemic-relational approach: I don't look at your defensiveness as a bad habit to switch off, but as something that made sense once — usually as protection — and now runs on its own, even when nothing is actually at risk.

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Understanding the reflex, not just fighting it

I'm not going to tell you to "just own your mistakes" — you already know you have them. We look at where the reflex came from, often an environment where admitting a mistake out loud felt genuinely unsafe, so the change reaches the root instead of adding more pressure on top.

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The pause, trained instant by instant

There's an exact moment between the criticism and your answer. That's what we train — a real pause before you speak, and a simple sentence of responsibility to reach for instead of the excuse. Not perfect, just real, repeated until it becomes the new reflex.

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Getting back what defensiveness costs you

The goal isn't just to argue less. It's to get back what the reflex has been quietly costing you — being able to actually hear the people close to you, and trust that a mistake doesn't make you unsafe to be around.

How we start

A clear first step, no pressure

You book your assessment session

Message me on WhatsApp or leave your details in the form. We'll set up a first 60-minute video-call session, at a reduced rate (50% off).

We get to know your situation

In that first session I listen to your story, what usually triggers the reflex, and where you've noticed it costing you the most. No rushed diagnoses, no jargon — just understanding, together, what you need.

We shape the process together

You decide with real information, not blindly. If it feels right for you, we agree on a process built around you. If not, I'll still point you toward what you need.

Your first step

Start with an assessment session

A first session to meet each other and shape your process. Reduced rate, so you decide with real information, not out of obligation.

US$25US$49.9950%

60 minutes · Video call · 100% confidential

Book My Assessment Session

Prefer to talk first?

Message me and I'll answer personally

If you're not ready to book and would rather tell me a bit first, message me on WhatsApp or leave your details below. I answer personally within 24 hours, no obligation.

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📍 Online · Barranquilla, Colombia

🕑 Mon-Fri 8am - 7pm · Sat 9am - 1pm (Colombia time)