Choosing Your Battles · Online, in English

If you put five cents on that card, you already lost it

Not every fight is winnable — and staying in the ones that already ended costs you the energy you need for what you can actually still move. A space to learn the difference, in English, with someone who thinks the way you do.

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Systemic Approach

When you can't let it go

Some battles were already lost before you ever started fighting them.

It's not that you're stubborn, and it's not that you don't know how to let go. Nobody taught you how to tell a battle you can still win from one that was already lost before you walked in — an argument with a parent that isn't going to change now, a partner who isn't going to see it your way this time, a version of yourself the people back home stopped picturing the day you left. For a lot of people who move between Spanish and English every day, there's an extra one waiting: proving to the ones who stayed that leaving was worth it.

Therapy doesn't ask you to just accept things or stop caring. It helps you see clearly which fights are actually still yours to win, and where you've been spending energy on a card that was never going to come up — so what's left goes toward what you can still move.

Sound familiar?

3 signs this is happening to you

🎲

You're still in the same argument

There's a fight that never closes, no matter how many times you take it on again.

💰

You're betting energy that doesn't come back

Every time you push to change what won't change, you lose energy you need for what you actually can move.

🌍

You feel like you have to prove something

The migrant's extra battle: showing the people who stayed that it was worth it to leave.

Ricardo De Castro King — Clinical Psychologist

Who's with you

I'm Ricardo, and you won't be alone in this

I'm a clinical psychologist with more than 15 years of clinical experience, trained in systemic family therapy. I'm Colombian, based in Barranquilla, and I see clients online. But before any title, I'm someone who knows what it's like to carry two languages and two worlds at once — and to keep fighting a battle that doesn't move, especially the quiet one of proving to the people who stayed that leaving was the right call. Many of the people I work with in English think in Spanish first — they migrated, or grew up shuttling between countries, or had to become the strong one in a language nobody trained them for that job. You don't have to explain that part to me first.

Learning to read which battles are still winnable is easier with someone next to you. If this feels like the moment, let's take the first step together — at your pace, no pressure.

Master's in Systemic Family Therapy

Universidad Simón Bolívar

Clinical Psychologist

15+ years of clinical experience

University Professor

16 years teaching psychology at university

Systemic-Relational Approach

Works with your relationships and context

Licensed Psychologist · Professional License 106127 (COLPSIC, Colombia)
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My approach

This is how I work with choosing your battles in therapy

I work from a systemic-relational approach: I don't look at the fight you're stuck in as something to just resolve, but as something shaped by your story, your relationships, and the loyalties — family, cultural, migration — that keep it running.

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Reading the real game

We look at what's actually shaped by your story and your relationships, not just the fight in front of you — so you can tell which battles are still open and which ones already closed.

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The two columns

A concrete exercise: "theirs" — what you don't control — and "yours, for you" — what you do. Moving your energy from one column to the other is where the actual change happens.

🔋

Getting your energy back

The goal isn't to stop caring or go numb. It's for the energy you've been spending on cards that already fell to go back into what you can still build — your decisions, your relationships, your rest.

How we start

A clear first step, no pressure

1

You book your assessment session

Message me on WhatsApp or leave your details in the form. We'll set up a first 60-minute video-call session, at a reduced rate (50% off).

2

We get to know your situation

In that first session I listen to your story and to the fight — or fights — that keep repeating in your life. No rushed diagnoses, no jargon — just understanding, together, what you need.

3

We shape the process together

You decide with real information, not blindly. If it feels right for you, we agree on a process built around you. If not, I'll still point you toward what you need.

If you put five cents of energy on that card, you already lost it. That battle was lost.

— Ricardo De Castro King · Psychologist

Your first step

Start with an assessment session

A first session to meet each other and shape your process. Reduced rate, so you decide with real information, not out of obligation.

US$25US$49.9950%

60 minutes · Video call · 100% confidential

Book My Assessment Session

Want to share this with family?

Read it in Spanish too

This same idea is also written up in Spanish, in case there's someone in your life who'd rather read it that way.

Si pusiste 5 centavos en esa carta, ya la perdiste

Opens the Spanish-language article on this same subject.

Also in therapy

Other processes I can walk with you through

All four are also available in English.

Prefer to talk first?

Message me and I'll answer personally

If you're not ready to book and would rather tell me a bit first, message me on WhatsApp or leave your details below. I answer personally within 24 hours, no obligation.

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📍 Online · Barranquilla, Colombia

🕑 Mon-Fri 8am - 7pm · Sat 9am - 1pm (Colombia time)

I answer within 24 hours · Your information is 100% confidential.

If you're in emotional crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help right away: in Colombia, call Line 106, or in the US call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or reach your local mental health line. You are not alone, and help is available right now.

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