After a Separation · Online, in English

"You got out" vs. "you failed as a woman"

A man who separates is told, one way or another, that he dodged something. A woman who goes through the exact same ending is asked what went wrong with her. Two people carrying the same loss — and only one of them gets handed extra guilt to carry alongside it.

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A first session to talk through what you're carrying and shape the process together. You decide with real information, not blindly.

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60 min · Video call

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Same ending, two different verdicts

It's not that the loss is different. It's that only one of you is expected to explain it.

When a man ends a relationship, the reaction, in one form or another, is "good for you, you got out." When a woman ends the same kind of relationship, the reaction is closer to "what happened," as if the ending itself were proof she did something wrong. Two people going through the same separation — and one of them is handed an extra weight to carry alongside the ordinary grief: the sense that she failed, not just at a relationship, but at being a woman. That extra weight isn't about what actually happened between you and the person you separated from. It's a script that gets recited whether or not it fits.

If you're the one who moved abroad, that script arrives with an accent of its own. The family that raised you didn't see the day-to-day of what you were living — they see a phone call announcing it's over, and what comes back can be judgment dressed as concern: questions about what you could have done differently, comparisons to someone who "held it together." That call can land harder than the separation itself, because it arrives right when you have the least energy left to defend a decision you already thought through carefully.

Ricardo De Castro King — Clinical psychologist

Who's with you

I'm Ricardo, and I won't add to the judgment you're already carrying

I'm a clinical psychologist with more than 15 years accompanying people through separations, trained in systemic family therapy — which means I look at the story and the surrounding voices, not just at you in isolation. I'm Colombian, based in Barranquilla, and I see clients online, in English. Many of the women I work with think in Spanish first, and carry a version of this same double standard: praised for holding a family together, questioned the moment they choose not to. You don't have to translate that part for me first.

Separating the real grief from the guilt that got added on top is easier with someone beside you. If this feels like the moment, let's take the first step together — at your pace, no pressure.

Master's in Systemic Family Therapy

Universidad Simón Bolívar

Clinical psychologist

15+ years of clinical experience

University professor

16 years of university teaching in psychology

Systemic-relational approach

Focus on relationships and context, not a checklist of techniques

Licensed Psychologist · Professional License 106127 (COLPSIC, Colombia)

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My approach

How I work with this in therapy

I work from a systemic-relational approach: the guilt of "I failed as a woman" isn't a personal truth, it's a social narrative you internalized. The work is separating what's really yours to feel from what culture added on top.

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Naming the bias, not repeating it

Alongside the normal grief of separating, you may be carrying guilt that was never yours to begin with. Your ex isn't carrying that same weight. Naming that difference out loud is where the guilt starts to loosen its grip.

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Two columns, one clearer picture

One column for what genuinely hurts: the grief, the loss, the fear of starting over. Another for what you've been told it means about you as a woman: failure, not trying hard enough. Seeing them side by side, and writing a sentence that hands the judgment back to the culture, not to yourself.

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The judgment that travels by phone

As a migrant, the family back home doesn't see what you actually lived through — only that you left, and that it ended. We work with that distance too, so you can hold your own account of what happened.

How we start

A clear first step, no pressure

You book your assessment session

Message me on WhatsApp or leave your details in the form. We'll set up a first 60-minute video-call session, at a reduced rate (50% off).

We talk through what you're carrying

In that first session I listen to your story — the separation itself, and what's been said around it. No rushed diagnoses, no jargon — just understanding, together, what you need.

We shape the process together

You decide with real information, not blindly. If it feels right for you, we agree on a process built around you. If not, I'll still point you toward what you need.

Your first step

Start with an assessment session

Separating the real grief of the separation from the guilt culture added on top is work that goes better with company. A first session, at a reduced rate, so you decide with real information.

US$25US$49.9950%

60 minutes · Video call · 100% confidential

Book My Assessment Session

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Message me and I'll answer personally

If you're not ready to book and would rather tell me a bit first, message me on WhatsApp or leave your details below. I answer personally within 24 hours, no obligation.

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📍 Online · Barranquilla, Colombia

🕑 Mon-Fri 8am - 7pm · Sat 9am - 1pm (Colombia time)