How to Talk to Your Immigrant Parents About Therapy

The conversation you keep rehearsing

You've rehearsed it in the shower and on the drive home. Maybe it's about your mom, who hasn't been the same since your grandmother died back home and she couldn't travel to the funeral. Maybe it's your dad, who works two jobs, sleeps four hours and snaps at everyone. You know talking to someone could help. You also know exactly what they'll say: “Eso es para locos.” “Los problemas de la familia se quedan en la casa.” “¿Y qué le voy a contar yo a un extraño?”

This guide is for the bilingual son or daughter who ends up being the family's translator, not just of language, but of feelings.

Why it's harder than it should be

The gap is real. According to the U.S. Office of Minority Health, in 2024 only 16.4% of Hispanic adults in the U.S. received mental health treatment, compared with 22.9% of all adults. The reasons are not only about money or insurance.

A 2023 study by Escobar-Galvez and colleagues compared barriers to mental health care across generations of Latinos in the U.S. First-generation Latinos, the ones who migrated, reported more language and structural barriers than their U.S.-born children. And a 2026 study by DuPont-Reyes and colleagues with Latino adults aged 50 and older who were experiencing behavioral health problems found that stigma, including the fear of being rejected by others for seeking help, was linked to less help-seeking.

In other words: when your parents say no, it often isn't stubbornness. It's fear, unfamiliarity and a lifetime of being told to handle things alone.

Where your parents learned to endure

I often ask a question in session that helps people stop blaming themselves for the way they love. I'll share it in Spanish, the way I say it:

In English: “I would ask myself where you learned to sacrifice yourself in a relationship… That comes from home.” Many Latino parents learned that enduring is love. That asking for help is weakness, or a betrayal of the family's privacy. If you see that, you can stop arguing about therapy and start talking about what they carry. They didn't choose that script. They inherited it, just like you did.

What tends to work

• Don't lead with the word “therapy.” Lead with what you see: “Ma, I've noticed you're not sleeping.”
• Use their values: family, respect, health, faith. “Hablar con alguien” or “una asesoría” sounds less threatening than “ir al psicólogo.”
• Normalize it with yourself: “I talk to someone too, and it helps me.” Only say it if it's true.
• Offer one small, concrete step: a single conversation, online, from home, no commitment.
• Make it in Spanish, with someone who understands where they come from and won't need everything explained.
• Respect a “no” for now. The seed often takes weeks. Come back to it without pressure.

What usually backfires

• Diagnosing them in the middle of an argument: “You're depressed, you need help.”
• Bringing it up in front of other relatives, which can feel like public shaming.
• Comparing them with American parents or with what you see on social media.
• Signing them up for something without asking. Respect is often the whole point.

None of this means you did it wrong if the first conversation went badly. It means the next one can be different.

Phrases you can borrow

• “No es que estés loca. Es que estás cargando mucho sola.”
• “No tienes que contarle todo. Empieza por cómo estás durmiendo.”
• “Yo te ayudo con la tecnología; tú solo hablas.”
• “Tú siempre nos cuidaste. Déjame cuidarte un poquito a ti.”

A thermometer for today

• On a scale of 0 to 10, how worried am I about my parent right now?
• What exactly have I noticed: sleep, irritability, isolation, drinking, sadness?
• Which of their values could I connect this conversation to?
• Am I also carrying something I haven't talked about with anyone?

That last one matters. Children of immigrants often become the family's emotional caretaker. You deserve support too, and you don't have to wait until your parents agree to get it.

How I can help

I'm a Colombian clinical psychologist who works online, in Spanish, with Latino families living in the U.S., Canada and Europe. I wrote a page specifically for this situation: a Spanish-speaking therapist for your parents. Sessions are by video call; the initial individual session is 60 minutes and costs US$37.49. You can message me first, in English or Spanish, and tell me about your parent before they decide anything.

If there is an immediate risk to anyone's safety, call or text 988 in the U.S. or Canada right away.

Sources

• U.S. Office of Minority Health. Mental and Behavioral Health – Hispanics.
• Escobar-Galvez, I., et al. (2023). Intergenerational differences in barriers that impede mental health service use among Latinos. Practice Innovations.
• DuPont-Reyes, M. J., et al. (2026). Multifaceted mental illness stigma and help-seeking behaviors among Latino older adults experiencing behavioral health problems. The Journals of Gerontology, Series B.