Understanding vs. Accepting · Online, in English

Do you resist understanding the person who hurt you?

Understanding isn't accepting. It isn't forgiving, and it isn't excusing what happened. It's the most strategic move you can make — a space to understand the pattern, in English, without anyone rushing you toward forgiveness or reconciliation before you're ready.

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Systemic Approach

When understanding feels like giving in

Understanding someone isn't surrender. It's information you decide what to do with.

You've built resentment as armor — like understanding what happened would hand the other person a win. So you keep the story simple: they were wrong, period, and understanding starts to feel like betraying yourself. Maybe you're also stuck on the same dynamic with a different version of the same person, and without understanding the pattern, you can't change your next move. For a lot of people who live their days in English but carry the story in Spanish, that confusion gets louder: the argument you replay is in your mother's or your ex's exact words, and translating it into English for a friend or a coworker can feel like being asked to soften what actually happened.

Therapy doesn't ask you to forgive, reconcile, or let anyone back in — especially not when the harm was serious. It helps you separate two verbs your mind fused together: understanding the pattern is something you keep for yourself, not a gift you hand the person who hurt you. What you do with that information stays entirely your call.

Ricardo De Castro King — Clinical Psychologist

Who's with you

I'm Ricardo, and I won't rush you toward forgiveness

I'm a clinical psychologist with more than 15 years of clinical practice, trained in systemic family therapy. I'm Colombian, based in Barranquilla, and I see clients online. But before any title, I'm someone who understands what it's like to carry two versions of the same story — the one you tell in Spanish, in the exact words it happened in, and the one you have to explain in English to people who never met the person who hurt you. Many of the people I work with in English think in Spanish first when they're replaying an old hurt. You don't have to translate that part for me first.

Separating understanding from accepting is easier with someone next to you who isn't asking you to rush either one. If this feels like the moment, let's take the first step together — at your pace, no pressure.

Master's in Systemic Family Therapy

Universidad Simón Bolívar

Clinical Psychologist

15+ years of clinical experience

University Professor

16 years teaching psychology

Systemic-Relational Approach

Family & relationship focus

Licensed Psychologist · Professional License 106127 (COLPSIC, Colombia)

Ricardo is licensed as a psychologist in Colombia (Professional License 106127) and works with international clients in private practice. He does not prescribe medication. Rules on cross-border online therapy vary by country and by state, so it's worth checking what applies where you live — and this never replaces local emergency care.

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My approach

This is how I work with resentment and understanding in therapy

I work from a systemic-relational approach: I don't ask you to excuse what happened, and I'm not here to steer you toward forgiveness or reconciliation. I help you get the information resentment alone can't give you, so the choice about what comes next is actually yours.

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Understanding without excusing

We separate two things your mind fused into one. Understanding why someone acted the way they did doesn't mean it was okay, and it doesn't mean you owe them anything. It means you stop being blindsided by a pattern you can now see coming.

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Information you keep, not a gift you give

Mapping what triggered the other person, what they were chasing, and where you fit into it is information that belongs to you. It doesn't require telling them, forgiving them, or staying in touch.

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Your call on what comes next

The goal isn't to push you toward forgiveness or reconciliation — that decision is entirely yours, especially when the harm was serious. The goal is that you're the one making it, with your eyes open, instead of the resentment making it for you.

How we start

A clear first step, no pressure

1

You book your assessment session

Message me on WhatsApp or leave your details in the form. We'll set up a first 60-minute video-call session, at a reduced rate (50% off).

2

We look at your specific situation

In that first session I listen to what happened, who it was with, and what understanding versus accepting has come to mean for you. No pressure to forgive, no rushed conclusions — just clarity, together, on what you need.

3

We shape the process together

You decide with real information, not blindly. If it feels right for you, we agree on a process built around you. If not, I'll still point you toward what you need.

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Understanding isn't accepting. It's a move that gives you power — room to maneuver, so you can be more strategic about what happens next.

— Ricardo De Castro King · Psychologist

Your first step

Start with an assessment session

A first session to meet each other and shape your process. Reduced rate, so you decide with real information, not out of obligation.

US$25US$49.9950%

60 minutes · Video call · 100% confidential

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Not sure this applies to you?

Why a session, not just an insight

Reading that understanding isn't accepting can shift something, but it doesn't map your specific pattern — what keeps pulling you back to the same resentment, or the same kind of person. That first session is where we start mapping it, so the insight turns into something you can actually use.

No pressure to continue afterward. You leave with clarity either way.

Also in therapy

Other processes I can walk with you through

Setting Boundaries Controlling Relationships Fear of Abandonment Couples Therapy

Prefer to talk first?

Message me and I'll answer personally

If you're not ready to book and would rather tell me a bit first, message me on WhatsApp or leave your details below. I answer personally within 24 hours, no obligation.

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📍 Online · Barranquilla, Colombia

🕑 Mon-Fri 8am - 7pm · Sat 9am - 1pm (Colombia time)

I answer within 24 hours · Your information is 100% confidential.

If you're in emotional crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help right away: in Colombia, call Line 106, or in the US call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or reach your local mental health line. You are not alone, and help is available right now.

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